if 1 is good, 2 is better, and 3 is best!

"Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational
act that two people in love can commit."-- Bill Cosby

Which is why... we thought we would have a 3rd!

People have called me crazy, and at times I am. I believe I want all my babies close together because if I ever get out of babyhood, I will NEVER come back. I also believed the transition from 1 to 2 was a piece of cake for the most part (other than the exceeding guilt I felt that I couldn't hold and focus soley on my Lyla girl). So if I'm already here in this messy, lovely, crazy-beautiful life, why not add another bundle to the mix. It can't be that bad, can it?

We are using a midwife this time around to deliver the baby here at home. We are opting to not find out the gender, because we already have a healthy happy little girl, and a healthy happy little boy. (I am seceretly hoping for a girl, and so is Lyla, but not so secretly!)

Lyla loves the idea of a baby in my belly, and told me I needed one in there way back in Oct/Nov. And shortly before I found out I was pregnant (I was but didn't know yet) Lyla told me an angel told her the baby would be a girl. So we shall see if the angel was talking about THIS baby or not!

Spencer is oblivious, and unbeknownst to him, will be weened very shortly. Feeding 3 is alot of work! Although I did it for 4 months between Lyla and Spencer. A good excuse to eat whatever I want (which is currently sugar cookie dough as I type this : )

This baby will be 20 months apart from Spencer. Spencer is 21 months apart from Lyla, which I thought was perfect. She potty trained right after he was born, which prevented 2 in diapers. Although, I feel Spencer will be a tougher egg to crack. Boys always are I hear. Although we cloth diaper, which tends to lend to early potty training in most cases, around 18-20 months old. Lets hope so!! Lyla also spoke well by then, and was so helpful. She was weened from everthing, and slept in her own bed. Spencer is also speaking way more at 1 than Lyla did at 15 months... so we are headed in a good direction. And he is almost out of our bed completely. He takes all naps in his crib, and sleeps most the night there. So I think we are on the right track.

We are excited for this new baby, and can't wait to share our family with him/her! Any name suggestions would be great! We are stumped this time around.

29 weeks, and 40 pounds to go! But please August 28th, take your time getting here, we aren't in any rush!

Pieces of Me

Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
I am large, I contain multitudes.

-Walt Whitman

Sometimes I think "this isn't me, I'm nothing like this! or at least I didn't used to be." Does anyone else ever feel this way? Some days I feel like this, like there are so many Camry's, and I wonder who am I really?

Once I was a simple girl, who didn't care how she dressed, loved to run barefoot, and wanted to live on a farm forever. I wore overalls, and milked goats. Who was that? Where did she go?

Once I was a student, who studied endlessly. I lived in the "big" city and rode my bike to school. I was smart, I was witty. I conquered all tests. I thrived on life's busy-ness. Where is that girl now?

Once I was a waitress, I worked hard, and stood on my feet all night. I put on makeup and curled my hair and made myself beautiful so I could get better tips. Who was that girl? I don't even know how to apply makeup.

Once I was an artist. I sculpted, and I loved to sketch. I had people commission me to make urns for their dead father, and I had people commission me to make their wedding cake topper. I was creative, and I was good. Where did that talent go? Who made those beautiful things?

Once I was a seamstress. I sewed beautiful quilts, and bridesmaid dresses. My own wedding dress was made on my Pfaff, that sits untouched in a closet. Who was that girl?

Once I was a wife and mother. I gave my family every bit of love I had. I gave up sleep, I nurtured, I served. That is who I am right now. Sometimes I feel so unaccomplished, and so uncultured, but I know this is my life's greatest work.

Life sometimes seems mundane and I wonder who I am. But I know. I look back, and I know. I'm learning to enjoy the small victories: The girl who wanted to live on a farm forever now has lettuce growing up her front entry way, and rejoices when she finds "Easter eggs" from the hens she keeps in her backyard. The girl who loved to learn, still collects knowledge as she reads up on topics that interest her now, like midwifery, homebirth, and the effects of healthy food on our bodies and minds. The waitress doesn't have to worry about tips anymore, she has a husband who lovingly cares for her needs and her wants. The artist gets to watercolor with her children, and does dabble in the occasional coloring book, and after an especially beautiful crayon masterpiece, still signs the bottom with her artist signature. The seamstress makes doll clothes for her little girl, and makes baby quilt tops for her Relief Society service projects with a neighbor down the street. And the wife and mother gets to experience all the incredible joys, and lowest of lows that come from striving to make a home and family. And everyday I realize how amazing my children are becoming!

So even though I sometimes wonder... Where did I go? I realize: I still have all the pieces of me. I am large, I contain multitudes, so sometimes I don't see everything that I am. But I am still here. I evolve, and I change, but I am still.... just ME.

We just call him "Princess"

No, he is not posing. Yes, he is actually asleep in Lyla's fairy tent. Why? Don't know!

Well Hello 2012, It's nice to meet you!

Ah, another year. I've never really believed in embracing "a new year". But this year I feel this incredible urge to live 2012 to the fullest! I am so excited for this year, and all the wonderfulness (yes that can be a word) that it will bring to us!

Simplify. Organize. Love. (wow, if you are friends with Eevi Grossarth, some of these may seem really familiar, they are pretty much her goals too!)

On Monday we went to Costco, and bought everything household or personal that we would need for the entire year! So now all I have to do is weekly grocery shopping! Yeah for me!

My entire house is almost organized to a T, except the sewing room... Ugh kill me know, since all the furniture moving, the sewing room is the catch all room, and it is a disaster.

Oh, and I am not going to Michaels or Joanns at all this year. So if you are, please take my coupons! Let me know, I will save them for you! Digital ones I can send via email, mailer ones I can give you at a play date. So let me know!

2011 was good to us, and I'm sorry to see it go, but with the attitude of looking forward, I am can't wait to see what changes 2012 brings us!