a little Tucson Love

So as we all know, my sweet husband is a Tucson native, born and raised. And he LOVES Tucson. I am not native. And oftentimes when people ask how I like it, I dramatically tell them I can't wait to leave. Which is unfair to Tucson. In fact when I say it people respond with "well where did you grow up? Do you want to move back?" To which I laugh, and say Yuma... and never!

I always saw Tucson as big, and crowded. Lots of graffiti, lots of crime... lots of people in general. It isn't anything spectacular, the traffic is horrendous, and the University makes it feel rather shifty at all times. The wards don't even feel stable. So I never really wanted to settle into Tucson. I always said... one day we would move (to that perfect place unknown). But sadly, I felt I was wasting time waiting for that perfect place, when there really are some amazing things about Tucson that can and should enjoy! Now that being said Jesse grew up East side, and while we know plenty of things East side to enjoy, I struggle with the West Side... which is way WAY different. They are like 2 different cities.

So I finally decided to dig my feet in and get cozy with Tucson. And this week has been amazingly pleasant.

It started off with Library story time... which as you know is free! And fun! I never went unless friends invited me (we have been about 4 times) and it was always at a "nicer library". As in, nicer than the scary south side valencia library closest to us. But I decided to try our story time, on our side of town. And what do you know?! It was amazing! And the preschool time backed right up to the babytime, so both my darlings got a storytime that fit them perfectly... all in one trip. I'm usually a home body, but I think this may just go into our routine!

Then we decided to try something outrageously new... the Santa Cruz River Farmers Market. Right near us, promoting homegrown veggies, with a promise of live music and slices of pie... what didn't sound fantastic about that? So I packed my kids up and went. It was in an old Mexican plaza/square, with live fiddler and banjo playing these great tunes. Kids were running around everywhere dancing to the music in the grassy central area as mothers meandered around buying organic produce and carrying their babies in canvas packs. Hippies were abundant. Which I don't mind, I find myself wanting to run up and ask them where they bought their flowered skirt and which midwife they use for their homebirths (totally stereotypical... I know). There is something deep inside me screaming to be a hippy. I suppress it most days : ) Although I do nurse in public, I prefer to not let everyone see my breasts. I did see a few breasts at the farmers market. So while I munched on lard free tamales with homemade salsa, prickly pear popscicles and a decadent slice of pie, I watched my kids dance with the hippy ladies kids and put flowers in their hair (okay only Lyla did that... Spencer doesn't have hair), and let them run to the top of the adobe buildings and look out over the city through the old rusty railings. In 3 words: It. Was. Perfect.

We also decided to go to the community food bank... also on this side of town, because I had heard they have lots of free classes on gardening and composting (2 of my loves, which I am actually horrible at, but wish I was good at). It was so cool! They gave me free seeds and free compost, and lots of literature on how to have a great garden in the desert! Then we walked out side to the food banks marvelous garden and snooped around, looked at the chickens, and played on the coolest playground I have been to in a long time! It even had a complete shade over it (which is rare on the west side of town). We will return. I want to help on the gardening days, and give back to the community.

So now I am on a quest to find all the hidden gems my side of town has to offer! And I can't wait! I've always known about the zoo, the childrens museum, the desert museum, the splash pad, and other things like that around tucson, but I always felt they were too far. But they aren't! I was house sitting for the inlaws on the east side, and it took me just as long to get to the zoo and childrens museum from their house as from mine. Now I feel like I don't live in the middle of nowhere! But my side of town does have community events and things that would be closer to me, and I am excited to learn about them and try them out!

So Tucson, I hope our little love affair turns out to be a full on relationship, because I have an inkling that our family won't be going anywhere for a very long time (courtesy of the hubby : )

If this doesn't scream Spring....

The Hens have started laying.

My apple, peach, and nectarine tree are blooming.

My lettuce is having a growth spurt!

Lyla girl picked me wildflowers from the desert.

And last, but not least, naked babies playing in water.

So while it isn't actually Springtime, Tucson begs to differ. And the Tuckers are loving every minute of it. In fact we even got our garden planted (seeds in a plastic green house, inside until the weather is sure it is Spring!) Happy Spring everyone!

if 1 is good, 2 is better, and 3 is best!

"Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational
act that two people in love can commit."-- Bill Cosby

Which is why... we thought we would have a 3rd!

People have called me crazy, and at times I am. I believe I want all my babies close together because if I ever get out of babyhood, I will NEVER come back. I also believed the transition from 1 to 2 was a piece of cake for the most part (other than the exceeding guilt I felt that I couldn't hold and focus soley on my Lyla girl). So if I'm already here in this messy, lovely, crazy-beautiful life, why not add another bundle to the mix. It can't be that bad, can it?

We are using a midwife this time around to deliver the baby here at home. We are opting to not find out the gender, because we already have a healthy happy little girl, and a healthy happy little boy. (I am seceretly hoping for a girl, and so is Lyla, but not so secretly!)

Lyla loves the idea of a baby in my belly, and told me I needed one in there way back in Oct/Nov. And shortly before I found out I was pregnant (I was but didn't know yet) Lyla told me an angel told her the baby would be a girl. So we shall see if the angel was talking about THIS baby or not!

Spencer is oblivious, and unbeknownst to him, will be weened very shortly. Feeding 3 is alot of work! Although I did it for 4 months between Lyla and Spencer. A good excuse to eat whatever I want (which is currently sugar cookie dough as I type this : )

This baby will be 20 months apart from Spencer. Spencer is 21 months apart from Lyla, which I thought was perfect. She potty trained right after he was born, which prevented 2 in diapers. Although, I feel Spencer will be a tougher egg to crack. Boys always are I hear. Although we cloth diaper, which tends to lend to early potty training in most cases, around 18-20 months old. Lets hope so!! Lyla also spoke well by then, and was so helpful. She was weened from everthing, and slept in her own bed. Spencer is also speaking way more at 1 than Lyla did at 15 months... so we are headed in a good direction. And he is almost out of our bed completely. He takes all naps in his crib, and sleeps most the night there. So I think we are on the right track.

We are excited for this new baby, and can't wait to share our family with him/her! Any name suggestions would be great! We are stumped this time around.

29 weeks, and 40 pounds to go! But please August 28th, take your time getting here, we aren't in any rush!

Pieces of Me

Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
I am large, I contain multitudes.

-Walt Whitman

Sometimes I think "this isn't me, I'm nothing like this! or at least I didn't used to be." Does anyone else ever feel this way? Some days I feel like this, like there are so many Camry's, and I wonder who am I really?

Once I was a simple girl, who didn't care how she dressed, loved to run barefoot, and wanted to live on a farm forever. I wore overalls, and milked goats. Who was that? Where did she go?

Once I was a student, who studied endlessly. I lived in the "big" city and rode my bike to school. I was smart, I was witty. I conquered all tests. I thrived on life's busy-ness. Where is that girl now?

Once I was a waitress, I worked hard, and stood on my feet all night. I put on makeup and curled my hair and made myself beautiful so I could get better tips. Who was that girl? I don't even know how to apply makeup.

Once I was an artist. I sculpted, and I loved to sketch. I had people commission me to make urns for their dead father, and I had people commission me to make their wedding cake topper. I was creative, and I was good. Where did that talent go? Who made those beautiful things?

Once I was a seamstress. I sewed beautiful quilts, and bridesmaid dresses. My own wedding dress was made on my Pfaff, that sits untouched in a closet. Who was that girl?

Once I was a wife and mother. I gave my family every bit of love I had. I gave up sleep, I nurtured, I served. That is who I am right now. Sometimes I feel so unaccomplished, and so uncultured, but I know this is my life's greatest work.

Life sometimes seems mundane and I wonder who I am. But I know. I look back, and I know. I'm learning to enjoy the small victories: The girl who wanted to live on a farm forever now has lettuce growing up her front entry way, and rejoices when she finds "Easter eggs" from the hens she keeps in her backyard. The girl who loved to learn, still collects knowledge as she reads up on topics that interest her now, like midwifery, homebirth, and the effects of healthy food on our bodies and minds. The waitress doesn't have to worry about tips anymore, she has a husband who lovingly cares for her needs and her wants. The artist gets to watercolor with her children, and does dabble in the occasional coloring book, and after an especially beautiful crayon masterpiece, still signs the bottom with her artist signature. The seamstress makes doll clothes for her little girl, and makes baby quilt tops for her Relief Society service projects with a neighbor down the street. And the wife and mother gets to experience all the incredible joys, and lowest of lows that come from striving to make a home and family. And everyday I realize how amazing my children are becoming!

So even though I sometimes wonder... Where did I go? I realize: I still have all the pieces of me. I am large, I contain multitudes, so sometimes I don't see everything that I am. But I am still here. I evolve, and I change, but I am still.... just ME.