Labour with Lyla was less than perfect, and this time around I want it to be absolutely beautiful! I want a perfect birth. One where I am allowed to tell people what I think is happening to me, and them believe me. One where I can trust my own body to do what it was miraculously designed to do. Once where I can feel every bit of pain, discomfort, and euphoria. I want to know and feel that I am an amazingly strong woman capable of bring life into this world, undruged and free of complications.
Is this too much to ask? All you moms out there, where you completely happy with the births of your children? Did it empower you and change your lives forever? Well it should have. We are women, we were made to have babies, and that is no small task.
This time around I am taking matter into my own hands. No more being put through the hospital system after they lie to you and tell you that you can have any kind of birth you imagine for yourself within their walls (FYI: nurses usually do the same thing for all women regardless if they need it or not, which causes lots of unneccesary intervention, hence unneccesary complications, hence a c-section rate of 1 in 3 women... come on now, do you really believe God made 30% of women incapable of birth on their own. No he did not, the real statistic is 95 % of women are capable of vaginal birth. So only 5% of all births should have complications, but thanks to induction, epidural, and pitocin, 30% of women are thrust into this "incapable" category... sad but true).
I am birthing at the birth center, and I am preparing myself as much as I can for this birth. Ideally I would like to have a home birth... and before you all look at me like I'm a crazy naturalist, read up on it... it is safer for mom and baby (when attended by a professional midwife), and current day midwives are trained to handle every situation, and they bring oxygen, drugs, and tools for every kind of emergency, including tearing, hemoraging and stuff like that. But our insurance doesn't cover home birth, only the birth center. So the birth will be with a midwife, but not in my own home.
I am also preparing myself by doing a lot of reading which has disspelled a lot of fears that I have had this time around, especially after the trauma of my last labour and delivery. I read "Childbirth without fear", written in the 1950's but still relevant, and currently I am reading "Hypnobirthing". I loved the book so much I enrolled in a class. It is about putting yourself into a state of mind where you are in full control of yourself, but you are relaxed, and so your uterus performs it's functions more efficiently. This makes labour quicker and less painful. I can't wait to start my classes and actually try it during my labour.
Most of you know I'm currently obsessed with this topic. But how can I not be? I just want to be prepared, and knowledge is power. So I read, and I talk, I blog, and I share. The birth and the precious moments afterwards are so rewarding. I want my labour to be empowering for me, and easy for my baby, because it's his ordeal too. So this is my current Labour of Love: Birth.
What did you do ladies do to prepare for your births? Did it work? Would you do it again? Let me know, because I really am open to any suggestions, and all information!
7 comments:
Camry you are so awesome! I admire you for all of your birthing goals and your determination to take things into your own hands and make this birthing experience more enjoyable. I can't wait to hear about your classes and how it all turns out.
I on the other hand am one of those women who is very grateful for the drugs. Landon's birth was quick and pain free. I remember saying to my mom "that was a piece of cake". I don't know that I felt empowered as a woman, but I did feel Heavenly Fathers love like I never had before when I first held my little man.
The most important thing to me is my relationship with my Dr. I LOVE LOVE LOVE her. She is more like a friend and I trust her completely. She wrote a note on my papers to be called for delivery no matter what. So she came to deliver Landon the night before her flight to a different country. She hadn't even packed yet.
I'm so excited for you and going natural! You are awesome!!
You sound like you are totally prepared for the next little one. I think what you are doing is awesome! I think if Iris were born in Tucson with the doctor I had then, I would have had an awful experience. After I left Tucson, I was considering having a midwife deliver my baby, because of my experience with my doctor. I couldn't stand her. But I absolutely loved my doctors here in New Hampshire. I rotated between all of them so that it was certain that I would know the doctor delivering my baby when the time came. The hospital was also amazing. And my nurse. Amazing. I think it is the nurse that makes the experience. Her name was Amy and I think I will ask for her every time I go in to have a kid from now on. She was overly optimistic and positive which would have bothered me in any other state of mind, but during labor, that was just what I needed. Everyone was very supportive of me trying to have a natural birth. They also had a tub that I soaked in for 2 hours, which made the labor progress at a great pace. I loved my birthing experience. I had a great nurse, great hospital, and a great doctor.
Camry you are awsome for wanting to try to have a natural birth. I almost made it through a natural birth I got to a 9 and was basically at a 10 when I had my epideral. I have a very low pain tolerance so it was real stressful for me. I would have loved to have had a natural birth because after words I wasn't able to get out of bed for 6 hours because it took so long for the drugs to wear off and my legs were like jello.
Looking back though I should have just sucked it up and just had Mandey naturally because once I had an epideral it prolonged my labor process by at least 3 hours. If you can do it I am cheering for you!
You can't help but obsess over your labor as the date gets closer, it is one of the hardest things we ever do! I know every birth is different but after Haley was born I really learned how my body acts during labor. I didn't have an epidural during her birth (not because I'm brave or strong, there just wasn't time) and I'm glad it happened that way. It was amazing to feel her come out and feel how my body does what it was made to do, just like you said. I get a priesthood blessing when my date gets closer and that makes me feel more reasurred.
I admire your goals you have set for yourself and little Spencer. I definitely want to hear about your experiences! When I had Sophie I was not worried or even prepared for labor. I had been studying a lot during my pregnancy, but I was more concerned about what being a parent than the delivery. I know you had a bad experience with Lyla and I think it is horrible how they treated you! However, Sophie and I had a good experience at UMC. Even though I wasn't really prepared like you are, I had an epidural and it went well. It is amazing to me that we have all this technology and medicine (thank goodness!!) and people today only choose to have 1-2 kids. Back in the ol' days there was no medicine and people were have 13 kids! Good luck!
Camry-
I don't know how I've missed your blog after this long but glad I came across it for this post. I also have been doing a lot of reading on birth lately. I didn't necessarily have a bad experience with James' birth but it wasn't what I wanted at all (I had a csection). It is truly unfortunate that hospitals have become what they are. There are some still out there that are willing to truly be there for the patient but unfortunately, most of them have their policies which make laboring there difficult, especially if you have particular wishes in a birth plan. Don't get me wrong. I'm not against hospitals. However, after doing some reading, home births do sound like they can be amazing experiences.
I'm so excited that you get to labor at the birth center...and a little jealous! Because I'm now 'high risk' I don't get that opportunity. Thankfully I do have a doctor now that is very willing to do VBACs. I didn't even have to ask him, he asked me what I wanted. I do have some other wishes for my labor but I don't know if I'll be granted them such as laboring in the tub (my hospital doesn't have tubs, bummer), walking around during labor, being monitored intermittently (probably won't allow because of their worry of uterine rupture), etc. It is unfortuante that birth isn't as "normal" as it used to be. I can't wait to hear about how labor goes. Are you willing to post details on your blog? Because I will eat them up!
I agree that everyone has a different labor experience. When I went into labor with Casey I had not prepared for anything and my mom didn't make it in time so I relied a lot on my nurse-she was great. I agree that the nurse makes a huge difference. So I did it without any medication. I wanted to do a natural birth because I didn't want any side effects of an epidural and I wanted me and my baby to be awake right after the whole process. With Katelyn, I was induced and it was so frustrating because with Casey my body took natural breaks (even when I was pushing contractions were 3-5 minutes apart) and with pitocin I didn't get a break and the contractions were a lot more intense. So with Tyler I was determined not to get induced. It was hard with him because his heart rate dropped so I had to lay on my side with an oxygen mask so I wasn't able to get comfortable during my "breaks" in contractions. Sorry this is a novel.
What I liked about not having an epidural for all my kids was that once it was over, it was over. Though I definitely gave up on going natural with all of my kids-usually in the last 1/2 hour. Everytime, I had a nurse tell me that it was too late (I was usually a 9 or 10)and it would just numb me for the pushing which is something I can handle (at least you are able to push through them instead of trying to "relax"). So when you want to give up-don't worry-its almost over!
I don't know how to prepare for labor other than get a blessing. I think it is harder for the husbands each time (maybe that is just mine I don't know). I do think medical people listen better when it is your second time. They also don't baby you as much afterwards though. And then the third one...you're pretty much on your own. :) Good luck! You will do great. I am excited to find out what you find in your reading/preparing.
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