Ashley's Birth Story

Let me just say.... Hallelujah, it's over!

My last labor and delivery were picture perfect... and you can read all about Spencer's birth here. But it was a little speedy, and going into this home birth, I really was hoping that I had a bit more time so that the Midwife could make it, along with the people who were supposed to be there to watch my kids.

So from the top: At 5:30pm on August 27th, I had fairly regular but mild contractions all through dinner prep, and getting the kids ready for bed. They tapered off around 8pm, and Jesse and I watched Suits, and went to bed at 9pm. I woke up at midnight exactly, with a weird feeling, like maybe I had woken up uncomfortable due to a contraction, but couldn't remember it. So I got up and went to the bathroom. When I laid back down I immediately started to shake uncontrollably (flash back to Lyla's horrendous labor!!! AHH!), and I felt nauseated. But I hadn't had any contractions that I knew of since 8 pm, so I was a bit confused, but definitely felt that this was it. I went into Jesse and woke him up, and asked him to give me a blessing, and proceeded to get in the bath because I was so stinking cold! But still no contractions.

When contractions did start they were very manageable, and after the blessing my shaking stopped immediately. So I told Jesse to call the midwife just to let her know, and give her time to get over here, because it is about a 45 minute drive. The midwife asked to talk to me, and told me to get out of the bath, so things didn't start going fast, especially given my history. So reluctantly I got out and wrapped up in a robe and laid in bed. Jesse busied himself taking care of everything!!! He got the bed and floor ready, boiled water for the midwifes instruments, and turned on my birthing affirmations CD. He made sure I had gatorade in a water bottle next to my head, and he occasionally came in and checked on me. I felt like a butterfly in a dark cocoon, just in a great laboring pattern. It was dark, and warm, and I had birthing affirmations on, and I did this for about an hour, and things started getting uncomfortable. During that time my sister and mother in law showed up, but stayed in the living room. The kids slept through everything.

When the midwife finally got there, she checked me and I was at 5 cm... it was about 2:15am, maybe a little after. And I really felt like I had done a lot of work to only be at a 5, but I didn't let it get to me, I was doing fine. She asked if I wanted to get in the tub (at this point I really felt like she was giving me too many options and talking too much, and had ruined my focus, which I never really regained).

I got in the tub, and sunk in as far as I could, and continued to labor, in there through transition which actually happened quite quickly after I got in the tub. The midwife came in to check and see how I was doing and said, I just had to make sure you are still in labor in here, you are so quiet! She could tell I was transitioning, and asked me if I wanted to move back to the bed. UGH! No woman, are you serious, you just made me get in here not too long ago, leave me alone crazy! I didn't say that, I just obeyed. And Jesse dried me off and got me in my robe. At this point I really felt like she had stripped my sense of control from me, I felt really shuffled around.

I really wanted to push while on hands and knees leaning on the side of the bed, but the midwife once again gave me an alternative saying, oh lots of people love to push while on their side laying in bed, why don't you try that instead. Ok : ( I'm very easy to control when I am in labor. Just tell me, and I will most likely obey. So up into bed I go. About 2 or 3 contractions in bed and I start getting pushy, so I tell Jesse. But I still felt like I was so far away from delivery, I tried not to push, but the midwife comes over and sticks her hands in there and tells me I have an anterior lip (or something like that) on my cervix. It was folded weird or something and preventing baby from coming out. So the next contraction she would hold it out of the way with her fingers. At this point, I am in so much pain, I am actually crying out during contractions and saying "This Hurts!" She literally would pull at my cervix with each contraction while I pushed.

Unlike Spencer's birth where I could feel his head moving through the birth canal and knew his exact position, I still could not tell where this baby was, which is why I thought it would still be a while. The midwife also wanted me to lay flat on my back, but I just couldn't let my legs roll over, and at one point yelled at her, "I don't want too! I can't! It hurts too much!" Jesse tells me I'm doing great, and that he can see baby, to which the midwife replies oh, that's not the baby, that's just her bag of waters. Great... so I'm not almost done : (

At this point my sister hears me yelling and so thinks maybe I am close and pops in and asks if she should get Lyla. I have mixed emotions, because I don't know how much longer I have, and I don't want Lyla seeing me so out of control. But Jesse tells her to go ahead and get her. In the time it takes her to walk to Lyla's room, and pick her up and return, I finally let my leg drop down, and am flat on my back, contract, my bag of water breaks and out gushes a wave of fluid and our little fish just rode the wave out! I didn't even feel a pause between, head out, ok now shoulders out... nope! She just slid out all at once, and was plopped on my chest. I was so confused! Did the baby just come out? I could have sworn I wasn't even close, how is she on my chest already? So Lyla missed yet another birth. That's 2 for 2. But I was so relieved! She popped out at 3:51, about 4 hours after labor really started.

It was the perfect length for a home birth, and everyone arrived in time, and I really loved that I didn't have to go anywhere, and afterwards, I could hop in to my own shower! That was lovely. And my midwife was competent, and I liked the homebirth, but if I ever did it again, I would probably try another midwife that was more quiet, and let me do more of my own thing, instead of what she was most comfortable with. I didn't tear, and she nursed right away, and the midwife was gone, about an hour and a half after the birth. So, we all just settled back to sleep and woke up around 7:30. All in all it was good. Very painful ending, but hey, I can't complain. Although I did have the thought that I would never do it again : ) Which unfortunately is probably a complete lie!